When she initially asked me personally if I’d be thinking about using this lady and her heterosexual cis-male spouse, I wasn’t interested in a three-way. I desired to understand more about sex with femme-presenting women.

I noticed couples which looked-for thirds just how numerous others do, as shady and only thinking about their particular increases – as dreadful unicorn hunters.

But the woman information had been nice, and I also realized, ‘You need to?’

I experienced no knowledge about threesomes with bi-curious couples. I’d only emerge per year before as a bisexual and polyamorous woman after hiding for quite some time, and jumping from a single monogamous direct link to next.

Getting bisexual delivered the usual labels to be ‘dirty’ for enjoying men and women sexually.

Getting polyamorous and participating in everyday intercourse implied I found myself as well promiscuous, not emotionally loyal sufficient, and branded a cheater before we even met for a coffee.

Getting plus-size with a body image/eating condition merely enhanced the feelings of inadequacy and pity for just who I am.

And whenever she messaged myself, advising me personally she believed I found myself gorgeous, and inquiring us to fulfill this lady along with her lover for a glass or two and find out the way we felt, I got ability.

Two mouths in place of one, four arms in place of two worshipped my human body, and I also them. And also for the first-time really very long time, we felt desired, attractive, and wanted. And first and foremost, we decided i really could ultimately end up being me.


U

nicorn looking
is
an expression that describes
lovers, normally cisgender, bi-curious types, trying to find a third to join all of them for intimate play. This
next
, appropriately known as the
‘unicorn’
for any understood rareness of the presence, is if at all possible a cisgender, lean, femme-presenting bisexual or bi-curious woman, one who is actually unmarried, delighted for No Strings connected (NSA) arrangements, and additionally be intimately special utilizing the couple.

I’m not a true unicorn as I’m perhaps not solitary, sexually unique, nor lean.

More details /meetup-bisexual.html

My main companion phone calls me personally a rainicorn alternatively. I find the term endearing as rainicorns (impressed by

Adventure Time

) appear in all types of colours, shapes, and characters. I thrive on being a 3rd for couples, bringing their sexual fantasies alive without having the additional strings of an emotional attachment. We take fantastic pleasure in becoming the thing they both desire.

Intimacy, for me, are but a great moment, a brief night of love without any more expectations.

Image: James Lee

Anti-unicorn shopping is rolling out from a necessity to emphasize the harms a large number of bisexual cisgender and femme-presenting women feel when they’re hunted by couples for potential three-ways. It usually promotes throuple and triad situations instead of one-off sexual activities so that the rights of included.

And I also obtain it. Bisexual ladies are often colored as promiscuous, intimate items, intimately experimental, hyper-sexual, and thought as upwards regarding as well as intercourse, including three-ways. A lot of have already been maltreated from this training of looking, and this are not reduced.

To be honest however, I am a lot of those activities. Becoming a unicorn has become the one and only invest which these elements of my identification which happen to be regularly coated as misconceptions about bisexual people are valued.

Because feminist philosopher Ann Cahill suggests, not to be sexually objectified, such as for instance in the example of excess fat females, can be seen as being rejected a sex and permission to relish satisfaction, something you should which I have actually considered firmly for the majority of my entire life.

Embracing this identity provides allowed us to look for intimate fulfillment in a different group of methods, also to engage my personal hyper-sexuality, in the place of deny it.

I will be fed up with people speaking personally, assuming that I’m usually vulnerable to exploitation from the sheer premise of my bisexuality and femme-presenting sex. That becoming hunted implies i’m usually prey. That i have to always wish a-deep, enchanting, and continuous relationship with a few versus one thing casual.


W

hile we’re coated as ‘rare’, i believe there could be more females just like me in covering up. All things considered, the reason why would I or anyone wanna come onward publicly as a unicorn, when user discussion forums etc paint unicorn hunters as ‘disgusting’ and only wanting to ‘spice right up their particular dull or boring gender physical lives’?

In which does that keep people just who enjoy becoming element of those dynamics as the hunted?

Whenever shaming these couples happens, we are in addition shaming the unicorns just who do these procedures. We’re generating the narrative for which bi-curious NSA three-ways tend to be considered as usually inherently problematic activities, and additionally reinforcing the notion that ladies just previously wish romantic link, that individuals cannot possibly be into merely intercourse.

We should instead open space and get conscious of range of intimate encounters. We may participate in various intimate techniques and involvements, and for some people bi-women, being promiscuous, open to NSA three-ways, and hyper-sexual, is not a terrible thing.

Neither is it an inherently bad representation of bisexuality much more generally. In the end, it’s not the representation that’s the problem, it’s the method by which really weaponised.

Sadly, the anti-unicorn ‘community’ does a damn fine task of pathologising myself, and women anything like me, because we dare elect to accept aspects of our selves that are viewed as a ‘problem’ by other individuals. Because we dare are ‘bad’ bisexuals.

I’m a bisexual ‘rainicorn’.

And I cannot just like becoming hunted.

I fucking like it.


Rainicorn operates in investigation, focusing on systems, sexuality and gender, sexual techniques, and health and wellbeing. She identifies as a bisexual, cisgender, polyamorous plus-size Anglo-Celtic girl, and it is intercourse good, kink/fetish good, and fat good. Inside her spare time, she likes painting and creating songs, and delicious delights regarding the carnal underworld.

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